Requiem
by YamiPaladinofChaos
Summary: [Sixth Requiem] Kurama agonizes over what could have been.
1. of a Foe

Disclaimer- I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho.

AN: A companion piece to Right Call, my other one-shot. All these one-shots come from a long marathon of Yu Yu Hakusho. Some of the dialogue isn't mine, but most of it is. And this is not a stand-alone, but a series of stand-alones.

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Trial of humanity. The defense rests.

My short but fitting eulogy, my requiem for my fallen adversary, my replacement in the Spirit Detective business, Yusuke Urameshi.

Strange. I thought I'd feel elated at having bested my rival, proving which one of us was stronger.

The defeat of an enemy was once something I rejoice in.

I even taped the video's climactic final scene as a requiem for his death.

And yet something seems wrong.

No, I should not feel elated. He was a good man, and an adversary that may have one day been a good rival. But he was still a man, and had a soul that was pure, and just.

Yusuke was a very different individual from myself, obsessed with fighting almost to a fault, brash, headstrong, and yet, I know that we could have been friends in a different time, a different place, a different world.

I wish I could have helped bring him onto the true path of righteousness, bring him out of the shadows that Koenma has always kept his lackeys within.

Yusuke was a warrior, manipulated by those in Spirit World, by Koenma, that conniving prince of lies.

Asmodeus should have been his name. I read about that being once, the Prince of Lies and Evil. That is what Koenma is. The most conniving person I have ever met, and the most evil.

I despise him with every fiber of my being.

He was the one who sent me down this path, however, and for that, he should be thanked.

That is the greatest irony, really. Koenma's desperation and need to protect these worthless humans, when all along it was he who spurred their foreordained destruction onward.

We would destroy ourselves, save that I am not willing to suffer any more damage to this world. Humans have plagued it for far too long already. It is high time that swift and terrible retribution be brought upon them.

By collapsing the barriers between this world and Demon World, however, I also do some small penance for my sins. Humanity finally endures Judgment Day, but that is not the entire reason why I seek so desperately to open a tunnel to Demon World.

I am dying. A rare, terminal disease, they said.

Incurable. My death would follow swiftly and surely as the next dawn of the sun.

None know why or how I contracted it, but I know. I know that this is part of my punishment for the murders I committed against demons.

This was the final catalyst. With this, I had no choice but to go to Demon World, a dying man's need for closure. If not for this disease, I would have never strived so hard for this moment when the tunnel is almost complete.

I need to know what it was like for the demon's I killed, know how it feels to be lost in a different world, amid hostiles, and to die by the hand of a random native of the world.

I go to Demon World to die, and by opening the tunnel, I shall take the rest of Humanity with me.

I will purge this world, and just as I took Yusuke's life, I will begin the process to take billions of others.

But unlike Yusuke, the rest of the world is impure and unjust and cruel and evil.

That is something Yusuke had never learned in his adolescence. That the world is not divided up into Us versus Them, Good versus Evil, Light versus Dark, but into shades of gray that are impossible to discern. Irrefutable truths are refutable, facts are myths, and every thing you hold true can be inverted in a moment.

But Yusuke's shade was discernable, his true character easy to ascertain.

A good soul, fighting for the wrong side. That's what he truly was.

But I cannot think of him like that now. I cannot show regret now, not now, when I am so close, so very close.

He was a lap dog of Koenma's, nothing more, the other's within clamor. He deserved death, they say callously.

My other sides. They who know nothing of the Spirit Detective life, of Koenma's true nature of manipulation and lies.

They did not know Yusuke's plight as I did, know how easily those of Spirit World could lie and manipulate you for their own gains. If I could only have changed his mind, perhaps I could have saved his soul.

Perhaps in saving his soul, I could make up for the sins I have committed. Perhaps my penance would be enough then.

But the blood on my hands never fades, even if the physical imprint has faded. My penance would never be enough, not even if I had a thousand lifetimes to make up for it.

But I will try, nonetheless.

That is, of course, the only thing any of us can do.

But it does not matter now. Yusuke is finished, and the greatest of the insignificant threats has passed.

Still, my long-awaited catharsis has not come. I had believed that if I killed Yusuke, I would have it. Perhaps I must also kill his friends, as well as open the tunnel.

His friends are angry with me, I can see. They hate me for what I have done.

Pawns, that is what they are too. Good souls, but pawns in Koenma's game. And pawns must be eliminated before one can make checkmate.

No. I have already beaten them. Koenma's Mafuken is no more, and his Spirit Detective along with it. All that is left to them is a hopeless battle that cannot be won.

No matter what happens next, I have won. The tunnel is open.

His friends wish to fight me though, and I can sense that they no longer care about an idea of honor or pride or even the desire to protect this world. What drives them now is pure anger and vengeance, the lust to kill me.

A foolish and hopeless endeavor, but an admirable one, nonetheless.

Amazing how much loyalty Yusuke has inspired from a fire demon, the Spirit Fox, and a human. The human above all else I am impressed with, for Yusuke had managed to gain as an ally one of the few other pure humans left to the world. Truly, Yusuke Urameshi was a unique individual.

Very well, I will grant their wish. It is the least I can do for such warrior spirits.

Their hearts are also noble and pure, like their friend's. I will not let such souls waste away in anger and age and inevitable corruption, but strike them down now, while they are pure, and just. I will capture their souls in an eternal moment, and their souls will forever be pure and innocent.

They will soon be joining their friend.

I hope they shall have some modicum of peace before they die by fighting me and attempting to avenge Yusuke's death.

I also hope I shall have that same peace soon enough, once I enter Demon World.

Humanity will soon suffer the cup of Wrath that has been waiting for so long. Judgment day is upon us.

The prosecution rests.

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AN: Thanks for reading and please review!


	2. of a Friend

Disclaimer- I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho.

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I watch Kuwabara, Hiei, and Kurama chase Sensui into the tunnel, leaving me behind with Matari and the corpse of Yusuke Urameshi, my Spirit Detective.

That's not right.

He can't be... dead. It's just not possible.

Yusuke always wins.

Except today.

Sensui has beaten me at last.

He did not fully win when he blocked the Mafuken, or when I fell to my knees in surrender. He won when he killed Yusuke.

Yusuke was the last shred of authority I still wielded. My Mafuken was gone, and now my Spirit Detective is gone too.

That's all I had at my disposal. That's all I've ever had.

In my arrogance, I believed it enough. I was a fool.

I fully believed Yusuke could handle any case, but I should have known, from the moment that tiny shadow of doubt crept into my heart, that something was seriously wrong here. That something would go seriously wrong.

And it's my fault for missing it. Again.

I have failed everyone, again.

I failed my Spirit Detective again.

But Yusuke was not just a Spirit Detective. He was also my friend.

I didn't have many of them, before I met Yusuke, and I still don't now. People are too wary of my high position as Prince of Spirit World to get close to me, to know me. And I'm working non-stop. When would I have time to make friends?

Before Yusuke, I had no friends.

And now I have friends.

Strange ones, to be sure. The legendary Spirit Fox, a slightly psychopathic fire demon, a brash and headstrong teenager, and many more people I would not have associated with prior to Yusuke's appearance in my ancient life.

He brought me friends. I tried to be aloof and distant of him, tried not to be friends. I tried to be the boss, that nagging voice that sends him off to a mission where death and destruction are sure to follow.

After all, the last Spirit Detective I had went nuts on me, and the one before that retired for family. Wasn't too close with Kuroko, and Sensui... well, he's a megalomaniacal psychopath now, so there's really not much more I can say about him.

I had high hopes for Yusuke. He was different from either of them, full of a desire to fight and yet a hidden desire to make things fair, like Sensui, but unlike Sensui, his mind was not full of ideals. Yusuke had seen the difficulties of this world. Maybe that's the largest reason why I recruited him, because he was not an idealist but a realist.

I thought I had finally made the right choice when he beat Togoro, proving his strength and assuring me of his capabilities one more time. He came through for me again and again, never failing a mission, despite how impossible it seemed. His luck and ability to adapt, his unique gift to grow stronger with rage made him a formidable ally.

How was I supposed to know that Sensui would return?

No, I should have. I knew him very well, and I should have informed Yusuke about his predecessors.

Then again, he probably would have shrugged it off and snored while I told him.

That definitely sounds like something Yusuke would do.

Yusuke, the Spirit Detective, and my friend. There will never be another Spirit Detective like you, I think to myself.

Maybe that's a good and bad thing.

Good in the way that I'll never had to deal with an insubordinate smart ass anymore. Bad that I won't ever get to deal with an insubordinate smart ass.

A paradox, really. Yusuke was a gift and a curse, a double-edged sword.

Everyone else always bowed to my authority the second they met me, even if I was a toddler sized ruler.

But not you. You always treated me like an equal, or at least like your treated everyone else. You made jokes and rude comments, and that, I think, is why I liked you. You never tried to see me as a political ally or a majestic ruler of Spirit World, but a kid.

Maybe that's what made us friends. Because you were different from anyone else I had ever met, a series of contradictions. You seemed a punk kid who hated everyone, but then you go out and save the day. Sure, I first believed your act that this was a chore, but when I watched, you came alive on the screen. Your indifference were replaced with a righteous anger when friend's were threatened, and you never gave up on trying to save the world.

You seemed two different people.

Like me. The Prince of Spirit World, a workaholic who likes to be in control. But down in the cave, I had to let my other side show. I showed my weaknesses, me at my worst, and I had to actually step in and intervene in the case.

Because this was personal. Because Sensui is my fault.

I also showed my anger and conviction down there.

You've never seen me like that, have you, Yusuke? You've never seen the toddler sized ruler of Spirit World trying to hard to do something before.

I bet you also didn't know that I was basing it off of you. I was trying to imitate your stubbornness, your fighting spirit.

Maybe I shouldn't have saved that kid back there. Maybe I should have just let him die, so that the Mafuken would have been stronger.

But my conscience wouldn't let me. I wanted to save that kid against all my other priorities, all the logic in the world be damned. Because I couldn't stand another death on my hands, another lost soul.

Another Sensui lost to me.

Did you know, Yusuke? Did you guess in your sometimes incredibly sharp mind that I was planning to sacrifice myself so that humanity would be saved, that I would suffer my penance for putting Sensui down this path? Was that why you didn't let me use the Mafuken?

Were you trying to save me, because I was your friend?

I know it's not because I'm basically your boss. You hate authority and being bossed around. The only people you'd fight hardest to save would be your friends.

Damn it Yusuke! Didn't you realize I was trying to save your life with the Mafuken! You're my friend too damn it! I should be allowed to save you too!

I don't have many friends, and I just lost my first one.

Why were we friends? You hated authority, I hated insubordination. You broke the rules, I made them. How can a friendship start from that?

But you know, despite the entire name-calling and commander-soldier thing we had going, Yusuke and I were friends. I'm not sure I can handle giving a mission and not hearing his annoyed yet subtly eager inquiries about the mission, or his smart-ass comments about my appearance as a toddler or a teenager.

Damn, I think I'm actually going to miss that smart aleck.

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Thanks to Tear Gems Falling, kit-kit, Dark Kaomi for reviewing!

AN: Thanks for reading and please review!


	3. of Anger

Disclaimer- I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho.

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Anger, hatred, and rage are coursing through my veins like nothing I have ever felt before. Even when Yukina was kidnapped by those pathetic humans, I was not this angry. 

There is no Yukina to stop me from killing this time. I will kill Sensui.

Why am I so angry?

Yusuke Urameshi was just a human. An exceptional human, of course, but still human.

And humans are beneath me. I came to this cave under the promise that Yusuke would give me Chapter Black, so that I may finally justify my hatred of humans, and any acts I might commit against them.

So why in Hell am I so angry with Sensui and myself for Yusuke's death!

Wait. What?

Angry at myself? I have never been one for self-recrimination. Never. That is something humans waste their time on, not me. But anger is something I have been familiar with for a long time.

I was angry with Yusuke when I first met him for defeating me. I was angry back in the cave at Itsuki for trapping us within his damned ghost and keeping us from killing Sensui and saving Urameshi. My anger has often powered me to new heights, and I accepted it all the more once I saw how powerful Yusuke became when he used his anger.

Am I angry because I stood by and watched Yusuke die?

There was nothing I could have done, the rational part of me rationalizes.

I somehow feel like stabbing that part of me with my sword multiple times, wanting it to die and shut up.

I want to blame myself, to understand why Yusuke had to die. I want to know why he had to die. I want to know, to understand, to comprehend.

I have never wanted to understand so much before in my life. I yearn for a sense of understanding, for some hope that everything will turn out okay, that this is some sort of mind trick or nightmare.

I have never felt like that before. I have never wanted to live outside the present, but now, I want to return to before this case even began, I want to be back right after the Dark Tournament ended.

What is happening? Why do I feel so much regret for his loss, so much anger towards everything for this loss? Why do I want to turn back time, to change his death?

Why do I feel that Yusuke did not deserve a violent death that not too long ago I would have eagerly inflicted myself?

Shouldn't I feel grateful? Yusuke gave me the greatest gift I've had since my Jigan eye was implanted. The power I've dreamed of.

I've wanted this for so long, all this power, the power of an A Class Apparition. Even when I merged with the Dragon of the Darkness Flame I was not as strong as I am now.

When I do merge with it, my power will grow exponentially. My powers have finally reached what I have yearned for. Powers that are rare even in demons, to be strong. That's what I wanted, wasn't it?

So why do I feel so bitter and hollow! What is wrong with me damn it! What is this feeling of loss and sorrow and regret! Why do I feel it!

Could I have actually... valued Yusuke's life? Could I have thought of the Spirit Detective as a friend? Was that even possible for me, to think of a mere human as more than an ally?

I had not even thought of Kurama as more than an ally, and he is a demon. A demon weakened by human traits, but still a demon nonetheless.

I respected Yusuke, as I did Kurama. Yusuke did defeat me in battle, after all. And Kurama was a legendary demon long ago, so respect would be given to him. Kurama was still as cutthroat as he was in his demon days, but with new weaknesses.

I respected Yusuke.

Did I value Yusuke's life?

Impossible. I have never valued anyone's life, not enough to feel this angry, before, besides my own life and Yukina's.

Self-preservation, and the natural instinct to protect one's kin. These are both things that even humans and other such animals feel. These are things I can accept feeling, because they are part of the natural order or life, just like death is.

Yusuke was neither kin nor me. Why do I want to avenge his loss? Why is it that when I look at Sensui, I feel my demon blood boiling, my hackles rise, and I yearn to see his body engulfed within the Dragon of the Darkness Flame and laugh as he dies a terrible death at my hands.

I want Shinobu Sensui dead.

I wanted Sensui dead that I know already. I wanted it long before Yusuke died in that cave. But somehow, knowing he is responsible for Yusuke's death makes my blood boil in a way I have never felt before.

Sensui's power is still far greater than mine, however.

And I have never tried to fight a battle I could not win.

But if given the chance back in the cave, if Itsuki had let us out before Yusuke died, I would have gone charging after Sensui, and fought him to my last breath.

Why?

I knew from the start that Sensui had power that I could feel and it scared me. I knew that he could have killed me easily, so easily. I knew that if we tortured Itsuki and got out of there, then we would never have won.

But maybe we could have saved Yusuke's life and lived to fight another day.

Bah. There's no more time for musings about what ifs.

Then again, this tunnel to Demon World is a lot longer than I thought.

I felt anger that I let myself become arrogant, that no one could possibly be stronger than Yusuke or myself.

Underestimating me is a grave error that I hate in people. But to underestimate someone else... that is a sin that I cannot forgive myself for.

My arrogance, all our arrogance led us down into that cave, led Yusuke to his death.

That is why I am angry with myself as well.

Because I was arrogant, because I underestimated Sensui, and because I watched Yusuke die!

I hate being underestimated, but underestimating is worse. I said that already. But the words still ring out clearly in my mind.

Failure, I can hear it saying now, bringing memories of a childhood long forgotten, no, chosen to be forgotten. Abomination, I was called. Evil one.

Their tone of disgust plagues me every waking moment, but now... now they are like an unholy chorus of voices in my mind, arguing with my own voice, in a symphony of discord within my psyche...

FAILURE! FAILURE!

STOP! STOP! I AM NOT A FAILURE! I AM STRONG! I NEED NO ONE! I CARE ABOUT NO ONE!

LIAR! YOU FAILED URAMESHI! YOU WERE ARROGANT! YOU WERE CARELESS! YOU WERE WEAK!

I FAILED NO ONE! I COULD HAVE DONE NOTHING! I AM NOT AT FAULT! I AM NOT WEAK! I AM STRONG!

WEAKLING!

I AM STRONG!!!

WEAKLING!

I AM STRONG DAMN YOU! I AM STRONG!

The voices recede... but like the tide, they rise again, even stronger, an ebb and flow that threatens to sweep away my own voice alone in the shadows of my mind.

Ebb and flow, ebb and flow, I stand strong, resisting the lull of the hatred filled voices. My voice is a rock against the tide.

But the tide of voices drowns my own, eroding my defenses... I fear for my sanity... I fear that those voices are right.

For this first time in years, I am listening to the voices of my past that seethe with hatred and disgust.

Maybe they are right this time.

But I cannot know. Now is not the time.

I do not know what is happening to me, what these feelings are, but I do know one thing.

I will see Sensui dead, for Yusuke's sake. I will see him dead, even if it takes my own life to do so.

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Thanks to KaraKurama, kit-kit, and shadow dragon for reviewing! 

AN: Thanks for reading and please review!


	4. of Masks

Disclaimer- I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho.

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I felt it again. What I hoped never to feel again for a long, long time.

It is a feeling of hopelessness and loss, like a final bell of mourning ringing out in my soul.

I don't want to believe it, but somehow, I know it has to be true.

Yusuke is... dead.

Oh no, how am I going to tell Keiko this? I can't stand the thought of her crying and breaking down.

She took Yusuke's death so hard last time... and now they were even closer than before. What will become of the poor girl now?

Does she know yet? She always carries around Puu, and if Puu stopped breathing and moving in her arms, Keiko would know something was wrong.

Is Yusuke really dead?

I know it must be true. My senses have never been wrong.

I wish they were. For the first time, I dearly hope that I'm truly wrong, and I think it will be the first time I was truly and utterly glad that I was wrong.

Another horrifying thought comes to mind. Do I have to ferry Yusuke here?

I will fight tooth and nail to do it, but I'll hate it every second I do it.

But I don't want anyone else doing it. I'll kill anyone who tries.

I suppose this is why I was discouraged from making friends with Yusuke and the gang. Because they will all die one day, and I may have to bring them to their end.

But a small, nearly insignificant and unwanted comfort comes to mind.

At least they will see a friendly face when they go, a small voice perks up. Its not much, but this is what gets me through my existence with my cheerful face that is sometimes just a crude mask that hides my true feelings.

That's why I'm always so preppy, with a smile on my face as much as possible, even if it is forced. Why I smile in a job that involves nothing but Death.

Because otherwise, this job could get a lot more difficult and others might not feel as comforted by my presence if I was doom and gloom all the time. They are already dead, there's no need to make them feel any more depressed.

Maybe that's why Yusuke was always so... not serious about his job, always complaining and slacking off all the time. Because if he was serious with his work and always focused on it, then he's bound to end up becoming like Sensui.

No.

Sensui and Yusuke are as different as two men can possibly be, I assure myself. Of what little I've seen and heard of him, I can see that they seem nothing alike. Yusuke would never have fired on innocent people, not even if he went completely off the deep end, I assure myself.

But they are both Spirit Detectives, something in me stirs. And Yusuke loves to fight.

That is true. Sometimes I feared his sense of adventure would get him killed again, or make him start slipping down a darker road.

But both men are completely different too.

The conflicting ideas keep swirling in my mind like the clouds I fly by.

I didn't have many friends till I met Yusuke. Death doesn't make friends.

Yusuke was my friend... and now I have irrefutable proof he's dead.

Why did it have to end this way? Why did Yusuke have to die?

I steel myself a little. I have to face King Yama, and try to hold on to a false hope that Yusuke is still alive.

That's all I have left, is my masks and hopes that cannot be true. All I have now is a mask of cheerfulness and hope against all odds.

Sometimes, that's all I can do, is put on a mask and hope for the best.

I hate that mask so much.

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Thanks to kit-kit, shadow dragon, SilverRainbow223 for reviewing!

Q&A

shadow dragon- I already did Yusuke's POV before he dies. It's my other story, Right Call. (It's R rated, so don't go unless you can read those fics.)

AN: Thanks for reading and please review!


	5. of Normalcy

Disclaimer- I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho.

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Yusuke's dead.

I know it, somehow, someway, that he is no longer in this world, that he's no longer with me anymore.

It was akin to a knife stabbing me in the heart and being twisted around several times, before being brutally ripped out, both the knife and my heart.

How do you know he is dead, would be Shizuru's response if I said this out loud.

My only answer would be to ask how she knew Kuwabara's heart was breaking.

Some people just have connections. Shizuru is connected with her baby brother.

Mine happens to be with a trash-talking smart aleck who happens to save the world on a regular basis.

Why did it have to be Yusuke? Why did I fall in love with him? Why did he have to be Spirit Detective?

I ask these questions a lot, ever since I learned what Yusuke truly did for the world, what his price to come back to the living world was.

Why didn't I know there was a catch? There's always a catch with Yusuke.

And all throughout the time I've known him, something in me knows that there is one last catch about Yusuke I don't know yet, some secret or truth that none of us could have foreseen.

I don't know why I love him so much, or why we are connected. Maybe its because I brought him back to life with that kiss. Maybe its fate.

I don't know anymore. Ever since I learned about Yusuke's status as Spirit detective, watched him fight, I've felt as though I've been caught in Yusuke's life, a life that always spirals out of control, where nothing is stable.

Maybe that's why he loves me. Because he needs someone to stabilize him in his unstable life, where his mom disappears on a regular basis and reappears at the most random intervals, where his future is always uncertain and plagued with enemies, where he is always fighting, always having to fight.

And I need him because my stable life needs instability. If not for Yusuke, I'd be living a normal, boring life, being an ordinary school girl, striving for good grades, a good school, a good future.

Sometimes I wonder if I want that. Sometimes I wonder if I was placed with the choice between Yusuke and a stable future, what would I choose? Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I never met Yusuke, never tried to be his friend.

I think of all the boys that have asked me to dances and dates, all the extracurricular activities I could be doing, all the work I could be accomplishing.

But then I think of all the adventures and things I've seen, and the people I wouldn't know.

Genkai, that old woman who is like Yusuke's grandmother in both age, mentoring status, and attitude. They're so much alike, Yusuke and her, both of them trash talking, bad mouthed, gruff people, but good on the inside.

Kuwabara, that strange young man that is Yusuke's best friend, despite the fact that Yusuke used to put him in the hospital on a daily basis. He acts so much like a little boy at times, always boasting and posturing, and I can't help but view him as a kind of little brother.

And if Kuwabara is my equivalent of a little brother, then Shizuru, Kuwabara's kind and yet firm and harsh sister, who always looks out for him, is the older, wizened sister I never had.

Then there's Botan, the ferry girl who I thought was replacing me in Yusuke's life once, in another lifetime it seems. That bright, cheery, not quite preppy girl that always seems so upbeat, even though her job is to bring people to their final resting place.

Other's I have not known as well, such as Kurama and Hiei, but they are Yusuke's friends.

I wouldn't trade these friends for anything in the world. Yusuke brought them into my life.

And now he's gone.

My life is back to normal, I want to say jokingly.

But I can't.

My life can't be normal.

Not if Yusuke's dead.

I learned that once before, the last time.

Living without Yusuke, for me, is too difficult. I need him, just like I need air and water and food to live. If I can't see Yusuke's smirking face or hear his wise cracking tone, I don't know what I'd do. I'd be lost.

Some people think Yusuke's a bad influence on me, that a 'no good punk kid' was not suitable for the class president Keiko.

They don't see Yusuke's other side. They see his shell, what he uses to ward off others, to keep them away. And some of them see what I had rarely even caught a glimpse of before the Dark Tournament. They saw his warrior side, the side that fights and enjoys it, enjoys the thrill of battle.

They've never seen Yusuke, the teenager. Sometimes, when I listen to him talk to me, and compare it to how he sounds around anyone else, I feel so happy inside. To me, he's soft on the inside, but a hard shell on the outside. He looks tough, but speaks kindly and almost lovingly at times to me.

That's the side I love the most, how tender he is, despite all the roughness of his life, the instability, the insecurities, the dangers of his existence.

I cling to Puu, my last tie to Yusuke, who lies in my arms cold and still, just as I imagine Yusuke lies somewhere.

The image nearly destroys me, sending the knife plunging back into my heart.

If Yusuke is dead, the stability of my life will send my soul spiraling out of control, and strangle it to death with normalcy.

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Thanks to kit-kit and Salor Earth for reviewing!

AN: Thanks for reading and please review!


	6. Of a Team

Disclaimer- I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho.

AN: I really, really apologize for the lateness of this chapter. I'm watching the last episodes of the Sensui Saga again to refresh my memory. Again, really sorry.

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Damnit Yusuke, why did you have to die?

You were my first friend in a long, long time. And my best friend since Kurone died, helping save me and allowing me to escape relatively unscathed.

Why did you have to die?

You helped me change my ways, save my mother, and give me a second chance to do some real good in the world. And now you have given your life to make me stronger. You helped make me become a person who could believe in setting things right and just in the world, who could change it.

I think you were the first person to put their trust in me, completely, since Kurone.

I failed Kurone. He died.

I failed you, Yusuke. You died.

But I won't let you pass unavenged like Kurone, Yusuke. I will fight for you, and I will finish what you started.

I will kill Sensui for you.

What is it about me that is the cause of my friend's deaths? Kurone died helping me escape, and you died to help me gain power.

Why do I lose my friends, and carry on as a survivor?

I can see Hiei practically burning with wrath, the likes of which I have never seen before. I think he is actually willing to give his life to avenge yours, Yusuke.

That's what made you remarkable. You drew me and Hiei into your web, your circle of friends, and as much as Hiei would not like to admit it, and you were our friend. You changed me, made me willing to fight for something, and you even made Hiei believe in something enough to die for it.

Your death allowed us to become stronger. Your death has given Hiei something real to fight for, given me something real to fight for, something beyond honor and protecting the world.

You gave us the desire to avenge you.

What is it about you, Yusuke? At first glance, one would think you a dropout, which you are, a no good punk kid who is indifferent to the plights of others. But when I met you, you were a concerned individual who wasn't willing to turn me over to Spirit World authorities because I broke the law to save my mother. You knew about how it felt to care for a mother, and somehow, you knew how close a mother and her child were that was a knowledge that no one else I had ever met had. You knew and empathized with my plight.

You were a remarkably different person from all other rumors about you that sprang up at my school, once I began to listen closer about the tales of 'that Urameshi'.

You can be brash and illogical, but when injustice is done, you are full of wrath. When your friends are in danger, you rise to challenges that seem utterly impossible. You inspired us. Your brash, hidden kindness that is just beneath your seemingly indifferent mask to the world took me into your circle of friends. Your warrior spirit, that unbeatable desire to fight and win drew Hiei in.

Together with Kuwabara, we were a fighting force unlike any other. A human and two demons fighting all fighting under a Spirit Detective. Almost unbelievable, unless they knew you.

We made a great team.

Just like me and Kurone made a great team.

The similarities are not lost on me, I assure you, however much I wished to deny it and try not to think about it, that fact was always there, ever since we fought the Saint Beasts. The fact that I was back on a team.

And now that team has lost its core member.

I think I hate you a little, Yusuke, for dying. When you died, we lost any chance of truly reforming Hiei, not that there was much chance of it before, but any slim chance at all is gone now. Your death cut through Hiei's barriers and turned him into a furious warrior bent on destruction of his foe and nothing more, nothing less.

When you died, I hurt like I had not hurt since Kurone died at the hands of the authorities and left me to survive. I felt pain that cut deeper than any blade ever used on me, and as I watched you die, I felt fear that I had not felt since my mother was last threatened.

Your death has struck a blow deeper than any I, and quite probably Hiei and myself, have ever had the displeasure to feel.

Damn you, Yusuke Urameshi.

* * *

Thanks to kit-kit and purplehairedwonder for reviewing!

QA

AN: Thanks for reading and please review!


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